I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
