Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize