We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
