last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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