Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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