Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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