She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
