My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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