Well apparently he's into motor boating.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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