i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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