the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
