how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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