I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
