I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
