Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
