fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
