So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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