Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
