it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
