you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
