I bet he comes in French.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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