he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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