U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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