peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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