it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
