You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
