Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
