No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Houston, we have a squirter
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
