Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize