that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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