and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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