Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
