highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
