Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
