haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
