is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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