For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
