Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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