Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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