Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It's no shave November. This is our time.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
