I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
