Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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