am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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