break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
