Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
My penis needs a shock collar
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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