A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
