Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
