Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
