I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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