my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
