Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
