i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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