Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
