I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
And the cops told us we were all naked.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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