He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
