dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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