my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
