You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Too much gin, very little bucket
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
