Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
whose parrot is this?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
