Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
