spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
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