i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
