I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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