I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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