I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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